Move over karaoke, your time is up.  It’s time for something new.  Something better. Time for Movioke.

I always wanted to bring movioke to the UK.  Movieoke is like karaoke, only instead of singing, you speak lines along to movies. It already exists in the USA, where people gather together to re-live old movies. These are usually the kind of cult movies that only the most hardcore film nerd will have a collection of.  Think Kim Newman’s video dungeon, Planet of Blood and other B movie guff that 99.9% of the human population lives in ignorance of. I was reminded of Movieoke a couple of weeks ago while I was on Twitter and Aliens was showing on Channel 4.  Aliens is classic Movieoke fare.  It has so many excellent and memorable one-liners that the Movieoke fan is spoiled for choice.

The Master of Movieoke, Bill Paxton

As well as some of the most magnificent dialogue ever committed to film, Aliens has one of the slimiest villains in film history (not not the monster, but Burke, the company man) “It was a bad call, Ripley. It was a baaaad call” who co-incidentally has one of the most deserved come-uppances in movie history. Aliens also features Movieoke favourite Bill Paxton in one of his most delightfully overblown performances ever as Hudson, the not-quite-as-bad-ass-as-he’d-like-to-have-us-think space marine who comes good in the end.  Hudson’s dialogue alone is reason enough to make this film a talk-along favourite.  There’s even a thriving t-shirt industry in Hudson quote attire.

Saw the film, bought the t-shirt….

Paxton puts in another excellent Movioke performance in James Cameron’s hilarious, quote-tastic Titanic with amazing lines like “I never got it… I never let it in.”  If I do ever manage to bring Movioke to the UK, I’m having Bill Paxton special nights the way the X Factor has Michael Jackson specials.  But without the awkwardness.

Aguirre: Wrath of God Not very quotable

So what makes a great Movioke movie? Well, it doesn’t have to be in any serious film critic’s Top 10.  Aguirre: Wrath of God is frequently quoted as one of the best films ever made by poncey film buffs, but have you ever tried talking along to it with a bunch of your mates?  Of course you haven’t.  No-one has.  Ever.

There are some films that have one or two great lines in them, like “Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?” from the Graduate or Robert Duvall’s crazed turn in Apocalypse Now as Lt. Col. Kilgore “I love the smell of napalm in the morning!” but how many other classic lines can you remember from those films?  Me neither.

So what makes a great movioke movie?  Well, like karaoke, the choice is your really, but in order to maintain the interest of others, you should go for a film that has tons of great quotes in it.  Usually the best ones are known to film nerds and non-geeks alike.  A great movioke film doesn’t have to be the best thing ever written, but it does need to include a bunch of memorable lines for all to enjoy.

To start you off on the road to movioke enjoyment, here are a few of my own personal favourites as a starter. In no particular order, some great films and great lines from them…

Die Hard   “Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Aliens  ” Hey, maybe you haven’t been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses kicked, pal! 

Jaws  “Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.”  In fact, pretty much anything at all uttered by Quint.

Trading Places   “Nenge? Nenge Mboko? It is me, Lionel Joseph!”

The Big Lebowski   “That rug really tied the room together.”

Some Like It Hot  Jerry: I’m engaged. 
                            Joe: Congratulations. Who’s the lucky girl? 
                            Jerry: I am! 

The Godfather   “Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday…”

Planet of the Apes (1068)    “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”

Life of Brian   “Thwow him to the fwoor!”

Good Will Hunting    “If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you. I will fucking end you. You got that, chief?”

And, of course, no film list ever would be complete without a reference to Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy:

“I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science.”

So, what would your movioke movie be?

Video sent to me courtesy of @Sulman 

Click on this link to see me and a Twitter buddy play Aliens movioke


2 thoughts on “Movioke

  1. It was a really good laugh. Best of all is the fact you can enjoy films you really love with entirely new people – because I know I’ve bored my friends shitless. Aliens was such a hoot.

    I’d love Trading Places, Ghostbusters etc to be on at some point. It’d be flipping marvellous.

    • We’ll have to keep an eye out. Trading Places was on ITV2 or Film4 in the week, so may be repeated several thousand times before Christmas.

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