Part 4 of some things that I found amusing this year
Jay: I’d love to be on the dole in this weather.
Lezzer: I’ve got a letter to go for one of those over 40s health checks.
Jay: Are you going for a genital test?
Lezzer discusses office cleaners: They all look the same to me.
Hol’s first day back at school: How small are year 7s? I almost trod on one.
Dolly: Steve once took a special needs group to see The Matrix.
Jay to Alex: Just cos you have smiley faces and turkey aeroplanes when you get home.
I often forget what I was planning to say: Hol are you going to eat these shoes or what?
Alex: We’re the last sane generation.
Dolly to Alex: I’ve got no knowledge of computers and you’ve got no common sense.
Lezzer: My friend did Greg a few years ago at Bankfield.
Lezzer: You need some of that – what do you call it – slippy slappy?
Karen: Isn’t it funny how you look at funerals now? I’m starting to grade them…judging the quality of the coffin, the food…
Jay: Monks are always attracted to me.
Alex: Is that the one whose face got ate off by a monkey?
Alex: The Irish age faster.
Jay: Is that someone’s real name – Ed Balls? What a knob.
The Seven Dwarves TV show discussion
Lezzer: I’d love to see them in a pantomime.
And: Nice stereotyping there, Lez.
Alex: It’s the only job you can get if you’re a dwarf.
Danielle: That awkward moment when you go out for a family meal and you wake up with your pyjamas on back to front, sick in the toilet and your fella’s coat on instead of a quilt….ugh
Marie: I really think the lads waiting for TOWIE to start are a stone’s throw from bent.
On-line dating profile
Nell and I are working on completing her on-line profile for catch.com:
Me: Right, you’ve got to say what you want in a partner. So what would you say would be his best feature?
Nell: Put “Can hang wallpaper”.
Me: Erm, that’s not on the list…
I heard some wonderful dating stories while I was researching my dating blog post, but this was my favourite
Girl and guy on first date. The guy keeps rubbing the girl’s back and then he says to her: You’re really lovely, aren’t you? And you haven’t got back sausages.
Off the telly
Sheldon Cooper: Smart? I’d have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.
There are some other Quotes of the Year, just click on a link below