I love you, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

Seventh time lucky!

I’ve just had one of those over-the-garden-fence conversations with my next door neighbour that brought to mind something that famous clever clogs Samuel Johnson once said

“Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience”

I can testify to the truth of this, having been someone’s second wife in a marriage that was ultimately doomed.

But, having been a second wife, I can understand the feeling of optimism that this time it’s all going to be alright as you swan down the aisle to make your vows that this one will last forever and ever. Amen.

Fingers crossed!

Plus, when I said my vows to love and cherish and whatever else it was forever, til death do us part, I seriously meant it and didn’t have to cross my fingers at the top of the aisle and think “This time, defo!”

Which brings me back to my neighbour and that over-the-fence discussion.  My neighbour, Andy, knows a guy who is around the same age as me who is about to get married for the seventh time.

The seventh time!

I can barely believe it.  My first reaction was to wonder if this guy just marries every girl he meets.

I imagine this guy from marriage no.3 onwards saying his vows and then looking back at those gathered to witness the marriage with a shrug that says, “I know!”

So although I won’t be at wedding number seven, here’s how I imagine the vows will go……

“I, Dave, take you, erm, oh yeah, Mandy to be my lawfully wedded wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow for as long as we both shall live.
Well I say that, but let me be straight with you here so we don’t have any strife in the future. The odds aren’t good for all that “as long as we both shall live” stuff as I’m sure my last six wives will tell you.  But, hey, you look good today and we’ve paid a bomb for the do, so let’s make the most of it.  Chances are that twelve months from now I’ll be lining up Cheniece, your lovely bridesmaid, as wife number eight.
So let’s just live for today and have a good time and when it all goes down the pan, as it inevitably will, I’ll let you keep the dog and the DeLonghi bean-to-cup coffee maker your Aunty Doris bought us.

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