Part three of the things that have made me laugh so far this year….
Off the telly
Twitter response to this man, Uncle Tony, appearing on the Jeremy Kyle Show.
The fact Uncle Tony dyes his hair is as pointless as putting a cherry on a turd.
A doctor to a patient on 24 hours in A&E: So apart from the heart stopping, any other problems?
When Barak Obama was at high school, they called him Barry.
I saw David Archuletta in Liverpool One today. Only he was bald. And he had a wife and two kids.
Prank Patrol: Down Under, the best thing since Prank Patrol.
You know in France how they have accents on the letters? Well on the car number plates, do they have accents on them?
I know how Walt Disney died. He wanted to be frozen so he could live forever, but it went wrong and a few minutes later he got frostbite and died. What? It’s believable.
You look like a home schooled French boy.
In the news
Steve Rotherham, Liverpool MP: For some people down in London, Bread and Brookside were documentaries.
Karen B.: When we left school, if you went back they’d prosecute you for trespass.
Jay: The colours of the rainbow have changed. When I was a kid they were red and yellow and pink and green, orange and purple and blue.
Jay discusses stretchmarks: My mate’s got stretchmarks cos he’s got a girlfriend now and doesn’t go out.
Lezzer: When a woman is breastfeeding, the milk is stored in her thighs. I read it somewhere. Or it might have been an April Fool.
Best insult ever
You look like a toe.
There are some other Quotes of the Year, just click on a link below